Have you noticed when you pick up the children from day care, kinder or school that they are quick to escalate with intense emotions? Which leaves you wondering where did all that come from, I just asked how your day was.
There is a term used for this state called Emotion Restraint Collapse.
If you think of our child's day of learning and processing information, add into the mix is lots of conscious and unconscious sensory input, and the additional range of emotions children will experience throughout their day that they don’t acknowledge. Their brain is flooded with information, their emotional tanks are well and truly depleted, that the body and brain need to release the tension that is generated (like a pressure cooker). Sometimes that outlet in on us because there is safety in our relationship.
So, what can we do when the eruption happens? Connect. If they are complaining and frustrated, empathise and acknowledge the struggle and just be present. When children feel acknowledged the intensity of situations de-escalates quickly. Help them problem solve situations as they may not have the emotional resources to.
Another handy little tip is to have a snack in the car just to eliminate those "hangry" feelings.
Be mindful not to bombard them with too many questions about their day right away. Hold off on the questions about their homework or who did you play with. Instead shift focus on what meal you may be having for dinner, an activity or something they may be looking forward to.
If you are driving home put on the radio and stay quiet. If you are walking, say little or just comment on the nice little things you notice.
Just a little reminder that not matter if we look at our routine at pick up time, it is expected that emotional eruptions will sometimes still occur despite all our efforts. This is a normal part of being, because guess what? It happens to us adults as well. We can experience the same emotional eruptions after a long day of looking after the children or being at work.
Remember… the key is to slow things down and connect.