In Victoria children are beginning to prepare to return to school. As much as remote learning was a challenge…. a roller coaster of a journey. Now many parents across Victoria, including myself embark on the next challenge of returning to school.
I don’t know about you, but I definitely feel nervous. I have been thinking about what is making me feel this way? Do my children feel the same? Are teachers and other parents feeling nervous? Then I realised I am really worried about what school will now look like for my children… their new normal. But hang on… this is all about change and how well do we as adults manage change? Some better than others. So, if you feel a little stressed, worried, anxious or just so excited not to be home schooling keep reading as I share a few tips and tricks for us as parents and for our children as we begin the transition into the next phase of returning to school.
First let’s acknowledge FEELINGS. The minute we acknowledge and validate our own emotions or those of our children the intensity of the situation and emotional state decreases. Jittery nerves worsen when feelings are overlooked, dismissed or not expressed. They create an internal dialogue that a situation or feeling needs to be avoided.
Let’s get out of our heads. When we get stuck in our head and for children this might sound like “what if I get sick?”, “what if someone sneezes in class?”, “can I hug my friends?”…. it feeds the emotional state, the intensity of the emotion gets bigger and then comes the reactive thoughts and behaviours as the emotional brain (amygdala) is ignited and responds by ‘flight’, ‘fight’ or ‘freeze’ responses. So, what does this mean… we might notice our children have bursts of anger that you think “where did that come from?”, they maybe more irritable or fidgety, they may withdraw and appear quieter than normal, decrease in their appetite, restless sleep or difficulty getting to sleep. We might start to hear them talk about physical complaints, “I have a headache” or “I have a sore tummy.” These are all responses of the amygdala trying to protect us.
When I talk with children about the thoughts in their head and getting stuck, I get them to imagine what their worry might look like if it were a bug or monster. Our bug or monster LOVES worries and LOVES it when we feel this really uncomfortable feeling. Our worry bug or monster grows every time we overthink situations or feelings. We can stop feeding our worry bug or monster by breaking down the situation and identifying it as either a Small, Medium or Large feeling and from there problem solving and creating achievable steps for our children.
Have you noticed that when we feel nervous, worried or fearful we feel out of control. Another strategy is to brainstorm with children what is in their control and what is not. This helps children and adults feel more empowered over the situation and develop confidence/ resilience.
Keep things simple, get your family back into routine. Early nights are so important for good mental health.
Grounding techniques are wonderful to help children refocus on the here and now. Progressive muscle relaxation, engaging the senses etc. I have created a FREE download resource “A Mindful Break” that contains a number of useful mindfulness exercise to help calm our children’s nervous system and re-engage their prefrontal cortex so that they can think more rationally.
You might like to make a list of what children are looking forward to in going back to school.
As parents we need to keep our own emotions in check. We can help our children by managing our own emotions. Just a reminder that we need to give our children more credit. They are more adaptable and resilient than we think. We are all experiencing a collective trauma. It’s OK to feel what you are feeling. It is always hard to readjust after a stressful period. Remember deep breaths you’ve got this!
For additional support: please get in touch or contact Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800